Tag Archives: Family

May 15 2012

365 Snap Shots of Life: Day 136

FORCED to FIND MY FAMILY…

I was certain I would never know the love of a mother for myself. God has a wonderful way of completing us when we least expect it and with the most unlikely people. I have been friends with Margaret for 20 years. We met back in Atlanta at a time when I would not allow myself to peek into my damaged,trauma filled past. Margaret came into my life back then with arms opened.

She would look at me with such warmth,enough to begin the process of melting the glacier that was taking over my heart in those days. She knew what I needed emotionally and freely gave it;for the first time in my early 20′s I experienced a mother’s unconditional love and I craved for more.Much like a new-born in dire need at feeding time.

My heart broke when a few years after meeting her our lives changed,sending both of us in different directions temporarily. Like everything else in my life,I embraced the new changes ,still clinging to Margaret even from afar.

A few years ago I reconnected with her and I felt great to have been able to become re-acquainted with another member of my family. Ever since then I have chosen to call her Mamacita because she  embodies  everything I have ever imagined about having my mother.

Have you been ostracized by your own blood relatives as I have been? We all have choices to make. We can stay bitter in our isolation or the alternative is to open our hearts to the people who God sends into our lives to give us the family we need. I chose to forgive and stay open to what God has for me. People get blessed with good looks,good genes,talents wealth and strong family ties. I was not one of the fortunate who comes from a loving family;this set
me on a course that forced me to search out and find a family of my own. And I have,through my friends.

Fear will hold some of us bound ,keeping us from opening our hearts to those who offer to love us.We all come into this world in dire need of love;yet few of us are brave enough to admit our need to ourselves and to others.

Mamacita,thank you for offering me your cup! It was you who offered a drink from your over flowing vessel;to this dusty,weary,thirsty traveler. Cheers to you and I will forever be thankful that you did! Had you not offered, I would not have had the courage to ask you for a drink!
Te amo…tu hija

-Eva Santiago copyright 2012

May 11 2012

365 Snap Shots of Life: Day 132

I lost my mother when I was 2 months old and I have missed her for 42 years. There are times when I just wish she was around/ For instance when I’m having a bad menstrual cycle I say,” These are the times when a grown woman needs her mother.” Seriously though, I still ache for her and I’m posting this poem I wrote to honor her on Mother’s Day. This is an excerpt from my new book, Salsa! The Taste of Life, which is in the publishing process now. ” Feliz dia de las madres !” to all of my Spanish-speaking readers and “Happy Mother’s Day!! ” To all the moms who read me!

 

You Are With Me

I thought for sure
I’d never get to know you,
all my fears concerning you-
have long since vanished.
As I change my point of view.

 

I see you in the eyes of my Elena.
I hear you in Esther’s girlish giggles.
I sense you in Joseph’s thoughtfulness.
Your love reaches out to touch me,
through Raquel’s gentleness.

 

That I never had you,
is losing its importance.
For you’ve been here beside me all along.

 

When Esther hugs me,
I feel your tenderness.
Through Joseph’s eyes,
you reveal yourself to me.

 

In my girl’s beauty and poise,
I learn of your loving kindness.
When they twirl effortlessly,
I sense your free-spirited ways.

 

Raquel, well you know, she bears your name;
She helped me feel you once more
When you came to help me have her
You gave birth to me again.

Eva Santiago © 2012

 

Apr 27 2012

365 Snap Shots of Life: Day 118

Today I was having a hard time coming up with a post. Then my 11 year old daughter said,” Mom just go on Pinterest and find something on there to blog about. You don’t always have to use YOUR WON photos you know! ” HA! So off I went :)

This picture reminds me of the times I have told my uncle in whose home I grew up in, ” I love you.” And his response has always been,” Thank you.” When I met my husband and I told him that, it freaked him out. I just didn’t think anything of it because that’s how he raised me. Thankfully, I see it all differently now. Have a superb week-end blog world!! :)

Apr 13 2012

365 Snap shots of Life: Day 104

I discovered how much I enjoy painting when my kids were toddlers. One frigid winter afternoon in Georgia I took out some finger paint and construction paper and they spent the next few hours delving into the paint with such enthusiasm that after a little while I joined them. I did a little picture and I put it on the fridge next to theirs. When their dad came home from work that evening, he noticed mine right away and he was as surprised  as I was at how good it turned out. Ever since, I enjoy experimenting with different mediums. One day I am going to get the nerve up to use oil paints. So I leave you with this picture I did in water-color. Happy week-end everyone!

Lonesome Coyote

Tell me what you see lonesome coyote,

the moon is your lover,

bathes you gently with light,

you respond in a howl- haunting Don Quixote.

-Eva Santiago copyright 2012

Apr 12 2012

365 Snap Shots of Life: Day 103

10 Things and then Some…

10 Things I have learned in 17 years of home schooling:

1. Children are children until they grow up so let them be kids for as long as they can get away with it. You are training them to BECOME adults. So don’t treat them as “little adults”; they’ll be there soon enough.

2. Nobody is perfect so don’t expect perfection from your kids. Instill in them a sense of excellence instead.

3. Practice what you preach. Kids see right through their superiors and if you’re phony they’ll call you out on it.

4. When your child does her best, accept it.
5. Don’t even think that you’re going to pretend that you know everything. We don’t and kids learn that soon enough.

6. Sometimes kids ask questions not because they want an answer, they want to see how much you know.

7. DO NOT lie, especially to kids, in the guise that you’re trying to protect them. As they get older, they’ll see right through the BS.

8. Kids are honest as long as you’re honest with them.

9. The home schooling journey tends to get lonely at times for both parents and children.

10. Now a days education is a big money-making business. It doesn’t take a lot of cash to give your children a good education.

 

This is just a VERY brief over view of some of the things I have learned in this amazing, challenging and at times frustrating journey. I had never stopped to think about it until now. If you were to ask me 25 years ago when I graduated from high school what I’d be doing 25 years later, this would have never popped into my head. I was headed to live out a completely self-absorbed life style and then what happened? Faith took over and led me here. I’m so glad I listened to her instead of following my way. My 25th class reunion is coming up this summer.  I dare say I’m pretty sure I’m not going to hear too many of my fellow classmates of the class of ‘87 saying they are in my profession. I’d probably get the usual bewildered looks that I’ve grown accustomed to over the years. But alas, I don’t see the point in going to a reunion where I hardly knew anyone back then and I’m certainly not going to know any of those people now. It’s time to celebrate my daughter’s accomplishment and that’s what I’m going to do this summer!!!

Apr 6 2012

365 Snap Shots of Life: Day 97

PROTECT THEM AT ALL COSTS!

CAREFUL! Young eyes are watching. We must be so careful with the young souls of our children. I am deeply grieved lately at how kids are losing their innocence at younger ages these days. No matter how hard we try to protect them, and I emphasize protect and NOT overly shelter, there is a difference; they still get exposed to age inappropriate things before their time. My youngest girl asked me the other day to tell her what a certain sexual reference meant. I let her see the shock in my face because I remember her older siblings hadn’t heard of that at her age. So she told me that she had over heard one of her older sister’s friends telling them about her sexual escapaes with her boyfriend. I was very upset.  So I had my daughter call her friend and tell her to please refrain from sharing her stories with her when she comes over; my daughter admitted to me that frankly, she was tired of hearing about it too. Folks, our kids will grow up it’s a fact of life. But when my 11 year old tells me she didn’t want to know about certain things yet, well I had to act.

Our children are being bombarded daily with adult material that is too much for their young brains and tender souls to deal with. I thank God I’m able to home school mine so  I can keep the onslaught at bay, at least for a little longer than the kids that have to face it everyday in regular school. I wonder what the people of a few generations back would think of all of this that kids have to deal with everyday?

Apr 5 2012

365 Snap Shots of Life: Day 96

The proverb says to train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. The hardest aspect of parenting is knowing that even though you did your very best to pour good things into your children, that they are free moral agents and at times they will choose the wrong way.

When my kids were all younger I changed our eating habits by introducing the blood type diet; a way of eating that is blood type specific in order for your body to assimilate the nutrients it needs. I saw how right away we all felt better  and healthier. I didn’t ban junk food though because to ban anything creates rebellion so I still allow for all of us to junk out when we crave it that way we satisfy the craving. A few years back, my oldest daughter was consuming a lot of ice cream. She was getting a nice shape and was starting to notice her body changing from that of a girl to a young woman. That summer she was flabbergasted when the ice cream she was eating began showing up in her belly as unwanted flab.

Astounded, she marched up to me demanding to know why she would get such an unsightly thing on her body. Nature  is the best teacher. I asked her what she’d been indulging in lately and right away she hung her head and admitted the ice cream was the culprit. She swore to never go there again and she hasn’t since. That is one example of how I believe God deals with us. He doesn’t ban anything from us, He lets us make choices.

A long time ago I read a book about The Proverbs in the Bible and it blew me away when the author explained that the proverbs are principles to live by and they aren’t set in stone laws that guarantee that your child will be perfect. As I pondered that I understood in that instant that my kids are human like me and they will make mistakes just like I do. When you train up your children in the way of the Lord it creates a safe passage for them into adulthood. When you don’t train them up, you set them up to fail…it’s inevitable. Whether you train them or not they’ll still make mistakes, but if they have the right foundation, they’ll have something to return to, a place to anchor themselves to so they can handle life and its storms.